A Healing Heart
by ttiiggeerr
Summary: Severus is suffering after Harry's death and this is how he deals with the grief it causes him. One-shot WARNING: character death NEWLY EDITED


**This story has been edited and reposted.**

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Sometimes when you least expect it, the ultimate surprise comes. And sometimes, that surprise comes in the form of a hobby, a new car, or a person. Mine happened to be a person.

A long time ago, I had loved Lily Evans. I really did, just more like a sister than anything else. Of course, when you're young and nieve, you don't know the difference. But then I lost her. I never really expected to keep her, but that was one hell of an unpleasent surprise.

And now, I find myself remembering those days with _him._ He looked just like her, in my opinion. The black hair, the glasses...none of that reminded me of the man she had married. Only of her herself. I know now that I really _did_ love him, like I thought I had loved her. That was the biggest surprise of my life.

To realise that you love someone, only after they're gone, is one hard thing to think about. I haven't thought about it in months, trying to avoid the inevitable. I didn't want to admit that I loved him, not even then. Because I knew that the pain of losing him would worsen-if that was even possible.

And somehow, I knew that it could get much, much worse.

And it does. It worsens everyday I live my life without him. Every time I lift a potion, I remember how he had improved so much in my class with a little extra help and a few less insults. Every time I walked down the halls, or even in my rooms, I remembered how he always had that easy gait that I could never quite perfect. My face reminded me of how he would gently touch me when I was having a bad day or a flashback to darker times and memories.

I just couldn't seem to get over him.

And then one day, a few days ago in fact, I received a letter. It would seem that Gringotts had an issue with his will and were working it out since they found out he had died. The letter told me that I was the sole person to receive anything from him-actually, I was to receive _everything_ he left behind. I cried for the first time in years.

How could someone so forgiving and caring give someone like me so much? I couldn't help but to wonder and put myself down at the same time. It was no wonder why people never liked to put up with me much.

Today though, is not a day to reminisce. I shall lose sight of myself and break down yet again. My pride and ego wouldn't know how to handle it, and my emotions were already giving me headaches and stomachaches. Not even my strongest potions could cure them.

In his vault, I looked around at all of the heirlooms he had. I walked around for a bit, just looking and not touching anything. I just couldn't bear to think of all these things as mine. It hurt too much.

I passed a portrait of him, and that was the last of my resolve. I shrunk it and left with haste, not wanting to waste any time. When the portrait opened for my entrance, I walked in and broke down completely.

It has been several months since then, and the more I talk to his portrait self, the better I find myself handling the entire situation.

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**Hey guys!**

**So I've had several of my dedicated readers, and a few new ones, ask me via PM if there was any way they could be updated on my work and my interactions on FanFiction other than my profile and author notes. Several of them because they don't read the author's notes and others because they like to have a face and a voice to a name. **

**But personally, I think it's a great idea simply because it lets you get to see a little bit of my personal life and also it allows you to get more frequent and more accurate and updated information. As well as I can explain things, such as where I've been and whatnot-you know, the things that I put in authors notes that I know not very many people read (I'm guilty of that occasionally as well).**

**SO! I've uploaded a poll on my profile page that you can all go to and you can choose up to five options that I've put up. If you think of another that I haven't done, then feel free to PM me and I'll add it to the poll.**

**Please, please, please go and vote. I love interacting with you guys so much and I'm willing to jump on the chance whenever I get it. **

**Have a wonderful day, Happy Readings, and go vote!**


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